Required Reading: How Not To Be A Dick

By Emi Debos

“How Not To Be A Dick: An Everyday Etiquette Guide” by Meghan Doherty (from Zest Books) is such a fun book and is incredibly essential to being a good person. The sarcastic title gets right to the point of its message. I literally could not put this book down. Ask Paul, he was a witness. Every apartment with two or more roommates should keep a copy of this book in the living room, right next to the TV remote. “How Not To Be A Dick” is a great short read with lots of tips to proper etiquette styled to the iconic “Dick and Jane” book formats, but with current references to pop icons, embarrassing celebrity mishaps, and cheese logs (SOOO MANY CHEESE LOGS).

No, Thank YOU Mr Subway Etiquette Man!

Simple messages human beings should already know. Don't clip your nails on a train. Don't blast your music into those tiny little ear buds and sing along for all to enjoy. Don't pick your nose and then hand onto the pole. As we move quickly toward the future, we are turning into a pack of fucking animals lacking the common sense to NOT grab the ass of the attractive woman wedged up against us at rush hour, so obviously we need to be reminded of how a sensible, courteous, respectful human being should conduct themselves on those packed trains. Animalnewyork.com seems to be the first to notice the string of awesome "customer service" adverts in the New York Subway System today, posted by artist Jason Shelowitz in the hopes our fellow man will wake the hell up and realize those little nicities we learned back in Kindergarten should carry us all through life. The real crime of this campaign is that the posters will not remain up. Instead of inflating the budgets of NY Government staffers another million dollars, how about kicking Jason a hundred grand and post these posters ALL OVER THE TRAINS?! It just makes sense.