The Last Airbender Final Trailer Hits

It doesn't have any Asians....but it sure is pretty. I sense a LOT of slow motion scenes in our future. July 2nd, we'll find out.

New Iron Man 2 Eye Candy

2 WEEKS!!! The privileged on the west coast have already been pumped full of armored ecstasy, but for us normal folks, its just another 2 weeks til we dive back into the Marvel Movie Universe. Paramount dishes out new clips (which I'm not posting because I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BY SOME OF THIS FREAKING MOVIE) and new images I will actually post..for you...out of love. I even did a clean up on the Black Widow/Tony Stark pic as it was grainy and she looked like she had a 5 o'clock shadow and armpit stubbles.


Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present the highly anticipated sequel to the blockbuster film based on the legendary Marvel Super Hero “Iron Man,” reuniting director Jon Favreau and Oscar® nominee Robert Downey Jr. In “Iron Man 2,” the world is aware that billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is the armored Super Hero Iron Man. Under pressure from the government, the press and the public to share his technology with the military, Tony is unwilling to divulge the secrets behind the Iron Man armor because he fears the information will slip into the wrong hands. With Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), and James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle) at his side, Tony forges new alliances and confronts powerful new forces.

MAY 7th Mother Truckers!!! Bring yo slurpee cups!!!

The NY/Asian Film Festival is COMING!!

Last year...this happened....

This year promises..well..maybe less man ass, but more crazy Asian fun, drama, hilarity and 100% originality. DON'T MISS THIS FILM FEST!!

Co-presented for the first time with The Film Society of Lincoln Center!
All screenings at the Walter Reade Theater!
Additional screenings July 1 - 4 at Japan Society!
Special Midnight shows Fridays & Saturdays at the IFC!

Like Vandals storming the gates of Rome, the New York Asian Film Festival rampages through the Film Society's Walter Reade Theater June 25 ­ July 8, unleashing an orgy of the latest and greatest pop masterpieces Asian cinema has to offer. For nine years, the NYAFF has been North America's leading festival of popular Asian cinema but now it's teamed up with the Film Society of Lincoln Center to also become North America's fanciest!

America's art-house theaters normally show an anemic sliver of what Asian cinema has to offer but the NYAFF¹s 2010 line-up is a brawny slab of 35 blockbusters and break-out hits that audiences in Thailand, China, Korea, Hong Kong and Japan actually buy tickets to watch.

The full line-up will be announced in May, but this year's festival will have three major events, so mark them on your flesh now!

THE STAR ASIA AWARDS
The NYAFF will be presenting three Star Asia Awards to actors Western audiences should know more about. The ceremony will take place on opening night, June 25, and the recipients will all be at the festival to receive their awards.

Rising Star of Asia Award to Huang Bo One of China's most popular new actors, Huang Bo got his break in Ning Hao's 2006 comedy, CRAZY STONE, and he's gone on to specialize in earthy,
foul-mouthed characters. A leading man with a character actor's face, he won a Golden Horse for his performance in COW, and we'll be screening it as part of the NYAFF 2010, as well as his movie CRAZY RACER.

Star Asia Award to Simon Yam Starting as a character actor in the 1970's, Simon Yam has gone on to become one of Hong Kong's favorite leading men, winning Best Actor' at the 2010 Hong Kong Film Awards for his performance in ECHOES OF THE RAINBOW, an official selection of this year's New York Asian Film Festival. From his performance as the insane fashion plate, Judge, in Ringo Lam's FULL CONTACT to his turn as the dapper pickpocket, Kei, in Johnnie To's SPARROW, Simon Yam has been one of the world's best, and most debonair, actors. In this
year's festival, he appears in ECHOES OF THE RAINBOW, STORM WARRIORS and BODYGUARDS & ASSASSINS.

Star Asia Lifetime Achievement Award to Sammo Hung!! A special Star Asia Lifetime Achievement Award will go to the legendary actor and director, Sammo Hung, to honor his legacy of onscreen work. Jackie Chan's "older brother" at Master Yu Jim Yuen's Chinese Opera School, Sammo has worked as a producer, director, action-choreographer or stuntman in over
230 films. In this year's NYAFF, Sammo Hung choreographed the action in IP MAN, he co-stars in the festival's official opening night film, IP MAN 2, and he stars in the cracked action-cooking-comedy KUNG FU CHEFS. There will also be a special screening of his 1987 Vietnam War movie, EASTERN CONDORS, preceded by an onstage chat with the maestro about his career.

RETURN TO THE OLD SCHOOL: HONG KONG'S NEW MARTIAL ARTS CINEMA
After 2009's film, IP MAN, became a massive box office hit, savvy Hong Kong producers unleashed a wave of old school-inspired martial arts films that went back to basics: no CGI, no fancy wire work, no fakery. Instead, they were all about blazing hand-to-hand combat, hard-falling stuntmen and lightning fast kung fu. In conjunction with the Hong Kong Economic and Trade Office in New York, this year's NYAFF features a special focus on Hong Kong's new wave of old school kung fu.

This year's line-up will include Jackie Chan's latest movie, LITTLE BIG SOLDIER; we'll be screening GALLANTS, a rollicking action comedy starring a gallery of old school greats like Bruce Leung and Chen Kuan-tai; and two movies about Bruce Lee's teacher and Chinese folk hero, Ip Man: an encore presentation of the original IP MAN and the North American Premiere of IP MAN 2, our official Opening Night Film.

We'll also be screening the award-winning, 2009 Hong Kong blockbuster, BODYGUARDS & ASSASSINS; the insane cooking kung fu flick, KUNG FU CHEFS; and the totally mad throwback to visually bonkers Hong Kong comic books of the 70's, THE STORM WARRIORS, and much more.

UP FROM THE JAPANESE UNDERGROUND
Independent movies get a bad rap, but for the past two years some of the wildest Japanese films have been shot on video for about $1.95. Hip hop wannabes stranded in the middle-of-nowhere will be ripping up the screen in the award-winning 8000 MILES (about male rappers, dying on the vine) followed by a screening of the much-anticipated follow-up 8000 MILES 2 (about female rappers, languishing in obscurity). Director Yu Irie will be here for both screenings. We'll also be screening two films from director Tetsuaki Matsue, who will also be attending the festival. First up is his Japanese/Korean personal odyssey porno documentary, ANNYONG YUMIKA, that's a testament to the passions aroused by one Japanese skin flick actress working
in Korea. Then we're screening LIVE TAPE, one of the most ambitious concert films ever made and winner of "Best Japanese Film" at the Tokyo International Film Festival, starring Kenta Maeno, known as Japan's Bob Dylan. Kenta Maeno is expected to attend the screenings.

We may be in a new location, but the NYAFF will still be as raw and potent as moonshine. Although we're on the Upper West Side, we're still showing movies that'll mess you up and ruin you permanently for the pale, lifeless junk Hollywood has to offer. For further info, hit http://www.subwaycinema.com/

New Hope For The Assless

For years, women have been able to cast a mystical spell to create cleavage where there was none, height on the spike of a stiletto heel and tape their faces tight with ancient Chinese sticky rubberbands....but what of the assless? The concave butted? Those who feel the wild wind rustle through the open space in their jeans where their should be butt cheeks? Modern science has the answer and its name...is Booty Pop. Oh, how I wish James Lipton were doing the voice over on this commercial.

No, Thank YOU Mr Subway Etiquette Man!

Simple messages human beings should already know. Don't clip your nails on a train. Don't blast your music into those tiny little ear buds and sing along for all to enjoy. Don't pick your nose and then hand onto the pole. As we move quickly toward the future, we are turning into a pack of fucking animals lacking the common sense to NOT grab the ass of the attractive woman wedged up against us at rush hour, so obviously we need to be reminded of how a sensible, courteous, respectful human being should conduct themselves on those packed trains. Animalnewyork.com seems to be the first to notice the string of awesome "customer service" adverts in the New York Subway System today, posted by artist Jason Shelowitz in the hopes our fellow man will wake the hell up and realize those little nicities we learned back in Kindergarten should carry us all through life. The real crime of this campaign is that the posters will not remain up. Instead of inflating the budgets of NY Government staffers another million dollars, how about kicking Jason a hundred grand and post these posters ALL OVER THE TRAINS?! It just makes sense.

Prepare For Zhu Zhumageddon!!

Man's greed can lead to horrific acts some people never recover from. We scorch the landscape with reckless abandon, never knowing how far reaching our acts may be. This is a cautionary tale.

Christmas 2009: Parents flood toy stores looking for the hottest holiday toy of the year. Small..inexpensive...adorable...a recipe for disaster. Scalpers form muscle car strike teams and strip deliver trucks clean before they even reach their destination. On ebay, prices surge to tripple digits. Zhu Zhu Pets rule all they can see around them.
Previously, the gentle creatures of the Zhu Nation worked on their cooperative farms and held weekly masquerade dances for fun, community bonding and the finding of mates. Their brightly colored hybrid cars hummed along the tubed roadways quietly. All was tranquil. Then came the Holiday Season of 2009, when the world discovered their irresistible little furry faces and could no longer live without them. Seemingly overnight, an astonishing tsunami of wealth flooded in and along with it, catalogs for Sharper Image, Ikea and Sean John. With tiny little IPhones in hand, they ordered everything their hearts desired...but with new possessions came the urgency to protect it.

Driven mad with power by the constant pursuit of hot soccer moms and the sale of their brethren into suburban captivity, the Zhunitites splintered into two primary warrior cultures. The first resembled the branches of the American Military. The second, Japanese robo/samurai/ninja society. The little squeaking Zhus tattooed their bodies to show their allegiance to all they encountered and built far reaching, colossal walls to keep strangers out. It is said the Japanese-esque warriors even hired Simply Red to perform an eternal concert just beyond the castle walls as a distraction...and a warning to all who dared attempt an attack.



Those meatiest of Zhus are plucked from their mother's teets at birth and brought to training camps. The Special Forces hamsters get the ultimate training on the Alpha Training Grounds. If they can climb the cargo net, crawl through mud under barbwire while dodging ammo, defeat the obstacle wall, crawl across the rope bridge and beat the attack dummy, they have completed this training and are ready for a Kung Zhu battle! Meanwhile, in the Ninja Warrior Training Center, Ninja Warriors will cross the log bridge, leap across the stepping stones, trying to avoid the blazing Katanas of fire and molten lava below, and run through the gauntlet of attack dummies to prepare for battle. Beware and prepare! Locked in constant battle in the arenas, a tiny little Zhuling grows to be a ruthless, unbreakable Kung Zhu Battle Master with the softest fur you could imagine. Seriously, pet these little guys. They'll growl the whole time but it's soooo cute. Whose a little viscious snuggle warrior? YOU ARE! Yesss you are.

Thus, the arms race began. Now calling themselves Special Forces, generals Stonewall, Serge, Rock'O and Duke commissioned high tech battle armor to deflect attacks and compensate for their teeny little paws. Now the sounds of exploding missiles will replace their cutsey little cooing!! Not to be outmatched, the elite Kung Zhu Ninja Warriors Yama, Azer, Drayko and Thorn develop state of the art weaponized battle suits, allowing them utilize the ancient fighting weapons of Japan and fire them where the sun don't shine to destroy their enemies. DEATH FROM ABOVE!! You thought I was going to yell Bonsai, didn't you. Racist.

After a time, it becomes painfully obvious that both nations are equally matched, so the tiny, fuzzywuzzy, ridiculously, intolerably adorable Zhu scientists began stripping down the hybrid cars to craft monstrous, smoke belching engines of DESTRUCTION!! Massive buzzsaws, gattling guns, surface to air missiles and insect like pincers clash against think steel hides like ancient gargantuan Dinosaurs locked in mortal kombat...with bazookas. Each week, the scientists send the robotic juggernauts into the wasteland to battle enemy forces while the Zhu populace watches American Idol. The horror. And so it has been for...very nearly four months now. The Kung Zhu battle is coming to your homes this May. Protect your loved ones. ALERT THE WORLD!!!

NOTE: Products shown in the images are REAL toys...they just don't run around the wasteland searching for gas and fertile women. We made up most of the stories, so no suing. Nuff said.

Neighbors From Hell Moving In This June

Coming this June on TBS!! Hopefully this cartoon is better than the horrifically unfunny Ugly Americans on Comedy Central. That show looked extremely promising and now I change the channel when it comes on. Sad. NFH has an excellent cast, so lets hope they have something to do with the comedy writing as well and then we'll have a winner.

Neighbors From Hell centers on the Hellmans, a typical, all-American suburban family, with Balthazor: his wife, Tina; Their two children, Mandy and Josh; and their dog, Pazuzu. They're your average family who happen to hail from Hell. They have been sent to Earth to pose as normal suburbanites with a mission to keep humans from drilling their way to Hell. Their task is made all the more complicated by Balthazor's growing affection for humans and their odd but endearing qualities, but as long as they follow Satan's acronym "Snorfindesdrillsalgoho" (Seem Normal, Fit In, Destroy Drill, Save Hell, Go Home) then the Hellmans have nothing to worry about.

Top 5 Non Super Powered Super Heroes Who Get Pummeled

Kick-Ass is living up to its name at theaters, so we thought we'd take a look at our favorite self appointed super heroes and reminisce about the incredible beatings they took to keep the world safe for the average man and woman to eat double cheese burgers, smoke cigarettes and drink themselves to death the old fashioned way...you know..instead of bullets to the head by insane super baddies. It could happen at ANY TIME!!

Special: Michael Rapaport is Les…lover of comics..well rounded geek..recipient of experimental medication that gives him SUPER POWERS!! The twist? He doesn’t really have super powers..the meds are just making him insane. Special is extremely well executed with a cast of actors who work their magic to make every second believable. Every time we think this film will step over a line or go down a road paved specifically to tug on our heart strings, it makes a hard left. Probably the best acting Rapaport has ever done. As for beatings, Les takes lumps like you wouldn’t believe! Prepare to flinch often.



Hero At Large: John Ritter is Steve Nichols, a starving actor who foils a robbery while dressed as the fictional Captain Avenger, making him an unexpected, overnight sensation (without the aid of Youtube!) It’s your typical Hollywood claptrap with Ritter caught in a moral dilemma when he’s offered the fame he’s always wanted at the cost of his honor. Of course, we are talking about John Ritter in the 80’s, so there’s plenty of bumbling and with it, bruises..cuts..scrapes..2nd degree burns...



Mystery Men: In a world with REAL super powered people, some guys have to be at the bottom of the food chain. Ben Stiller is Furious (literally) with the power to get really..really..angry and increase his chances of hurting himself 10 fold. Even the guy who is exceptional at throwing forks and dude with a shovel have cooler “super powers”. Sad sad sad.



Condorman: The Original awkward super hero. Well..one of them. Disney brings us the story of cartoonist Woody Wilkins who agrees to deliver a package for a friend in the CIA and stumbles into the wide world of spies. SHOCKING!! Now knee deep in the CIA’s business, Wilkins leverages his mandatory inclusion to have the government make his comic character’s gadgets a reality..essentially making him the real Condorman. Ta daa! Pretty ingenious for a Disney movie! As such, Wilkins doesn’t really take a lot of lumps, but he definitely qualifies as a super dork.



Blank Man: Truly, the saddest of all super hero wana-bes is Blankman, the creation of Damon Wayans who stars as the title character as well. Darryl Walker is so incredibly dorky he might be seen as mentally handicapped..but even the handicapped could pull it together more often than this guy. Regardless, Darryl is also a brilliant inventor who makes a bullet proof suit and leaps into the night to fight crime and inexplicably get the lady. Darryl is SO incredibly awkward, getting a simple kiss throws him into a full on nerd spasm and probably leaves a little stain in his super shorts (the front part.) So so so very bad.

Epic Marvel Greatness

Ready for the Heroic Age?

Greatest Reader Submission...Ever

No info sent..just a parade of "hehehehehe" from Vixenator23. All I can gather from this is that Portland is one fucked up place to live...in the most awesome way possible. Just so google picks this up, we are looking at Betty White, riding a Jack Tripper centaur through the Heavy Metal animated set, dressed as Slave Leia and wielding a mystical flaming chainsaw. Now I know what I'm putting on a t shirt next.

Gatchaman Trailer Goes LIVE

Unfortunately, the project is in limbo as Imagi reels from money troubles. I saw this trailer over a year ago and was sworn to secrecy, twitching the entire time as I was dying to share it with the world. I love the updated costumes, the action, the animation and the twisted little nuances given to the baddies. Can't wait to see what becomes if this film, if it's done....if it is going to be completed...please? I can wait.

Megamind Toys On The Way

I love living in the future. I can check facebook on the train, my car has a USB port and there are TONS of super hero movies to satiate my geeky appetite!! While The Incredibles has been my favorite animated herofest, Megamind is looking to step up and be counted. Here's the skinny..

When super villain Megamind (Will Ferrell) defeats his archrival Metro Man (Brad Pitt), the world should be his oyster. But instead, Megamind falls into total despair. It turns out that life without a rival is life without a point for him. So, he creates a new superhero rival, Titan (Jonah Hill). Unfortunately, the new hero wants to be a super villain, too. Caught in the middle, star reporter Roxanne Ritchi (Tina Fey) asks the tough questions: Who can we turn to? Who has what it takes to stand up to this menace? Who will defend the innocent? Megamind! That's who.

Toyquest jumps in to do the plastic honors with a line of Megamind collectibles you can take home and pet like they are your real friends.

6 Inch Action Figure Assortment: Includes Energy Ray Megamind with rocket firing action, Power Punch Metro Man with spring loaded arms and a display stand to allow for a flying pose, DNA Extractor minion with DNA extractor gun and Super Charged Tighten with spring loaded arms for safe throwing action (includes safe and money bag inside!) All figures have articulation in the arms and it doesn't look like much else. $9.99 MSRP - 5+

Mini Figure Assortment: Includes Megamind and Brainbot (attaches to his shoulder), Minion and Tighten, Space Escape with Metro Man and Megamind babies as well as a rocket ship and Metro Man and Roxanne Ritchie. MSRP $5.99 - 5+






Vehicles: WALKING DESTRUCTION BOT!! Features a detachable space pod, dome that opens to fit a mini figure inside and poseable arms and legs. MSRP $17.99 - 5+

You'll also find a 14 inch Deluxe Action Figure of ULTRA MINION! This figure features posable arms and legs, an animated minion inside the water dome (with bubble, natch!) and 28 seconds of phrases from the movie bellowing from his plastic innards. $29.99 - 5+ Giant monkey robot = instant geek love. SOLD!

Megamind hits theaters November 5th, 2010.

Kick-Ass Movie Review

Some movies seek to deepen the human experience and leave an audience enlightened to a higher state of being. Other movies transcend film with color and light, experimenting with all common elements of a movie until the end result is more like a beautiful painting and is to be seen as nothing more. Then, there’s Kick-Ass, the dirty half brother of all of these who does an amazing array of acrobatics to the thunderous applause of a New York City street audience and ands the display by landing atop a nearby mugger and twisting his head off. The blood sprays forth in classic Japanese fashion, drenching all those standing in front. Some people walk away in disgust. Some vomit immediately. Others clap even louder and with enthusiasm.

Kick-Ass is one answer to the eternal geek question of “Why don’t people dress up as super heroes and fight crime?” Seriously, the math on this conundrum by itself is astounding if you take the number of people who read comics and then figure the number of masked super heroes out there right now handing out sandwiches to the homeless. Shouldn’t there be crime fighters in the news daily? Dave Lizewski ponders this very question long and hard before donning a scuba suit and mask and taking to the streets, only to have his ass handed to him on his first attempt. Lesson number 1: Being a super hero hurts.

Before long, Kick-Ass gets into the swing of things and after one viral video of his heroics; he’s a hit, catching the eye of the criminal underworld as well as fellow super bad-asses Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Do the trio band together and run off into the night to make the world a safer place for democracy? Yes and no. Kick-Ass explores the nature of human beings and how they react to an increasingly violent world. In this case, they slip on a mask and fight back. Dave picks up two batons and with little more than sit ups and dulled nerve endings to assist him, he tries to do a little good. For Big Daddy and Hit Girl, its more about revenge. The solution to stopping crime is a bullet between the eyes, a knife to the guts and general dismemberment. After all, it’s hard to deal crack to kids if you’ve got no legs.

While Kick-Ass is not short on social commentary, it doesn’t take a pause to point out the message and let it sink in…for there are many bad guys to kill horribly and only so much screen time to squeeze it in. By day, characters exchange witty banter that will keep you laughing throughout, weather from the direct sarcastic humor of Dave and his dorky friends or the over the top, nearly psychotic banter between Big Daddy and Hit Girl. You’ll also get a healthy dose of hysterics from the cartoonish Italian mobsters who split the difference with equal parts A! OH! mob slapstick and crackerjack comedic timing draped over a bit of ultra violence. Speaking of which, to say Kick-Ass is bloody is an understatement. I find it hysterical that people are more appalled with 11 year old looking Hit Girl’s use of the word CUNT than in her ability to scale a grown man and use his own gun to shoot him through the top of his head. What a world we live in. Through it all, the violence is so over the top most of the time, and squarely directed at the baddest of the bad, that you’ll find fellow movie goers laughing just as much at the arterial spray as they did the one liners. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Hit Girl is a genius at killing, running up walls and redirecting gunfire like a midget Jackie Chan in a purple wig. You’ll leave the theater anxious to twitter your demands for an all Hit Girl movie follow up!

Some have said that Kick-Ass is the furthest extent of geek worship splashed upon a screen for the amusement of the most idiotic of our nation. To them, I say you clearly know nothing about the genre, and much less about the comic buying public. Kick-Ass is not a very well known title, so to say people are flocking to screens to see if the adaptation holds true as we did for Hulk and Iron Man is laughable. Most people who put Kick-Ass on their must see list saw a trailer with funny gags and Hit Girl saying cunt and yelled SOLD! How different is this film from the last Rambo which had body parts launched skyward at every opportunity? I’d say it is even tamer than most action films where the hero finds himself framed and then kills several cops making a get away. I’ll also argue that comics today have some of the best writers working in any medium and churn out projects far superior to 80% of TV and film on a weekly basis. Go read DC’s Identity Crisis or Top Cow’s Midnight Nation or even some of the finer moments of Marvel’s New Avengers and tell me I’m wrong. To dismiss a film for being dumb and violent is one thing. Saying it is the dimmest product of mouth breathing comic people is insulting.

All ranting aside, Kick-Ass is a damn good time. It’s a bit troubling to hit the theaters and see empty seats, even after piles of positive reviews and stellar word of mouth. It all comes down to this. If you want to laugh, have your jaw dropped by amazing stunt work, heart strings tugged on sufficiently and flinch like you might actually get punched in the head at any moment without the aid of 3D trickery to convince you, Kick-Ass is your perfect date.

SDCC Exclusives: More Mattel with Avatar, WWE, Toy Story 3 and Real Ghostbusters

San Diego Comic Con is completely sold out..and oh so close. Those attending will be regulating their geekiness hourly as not to fall into spasms every time they see a hot girl in a Slave Leia outfit. It's a real worry...at least for me. G4: Attack of the Show's Blair Butler went all sneaksy hobitses and got a peek at all of Mattel's San Diego Comic Con exclusives. Round 1 (seen HERE) included Masters of the Universe Classics Orko and Prince Adam, DC Universe Classics Plastic Man, Infinite Heroes Brave and the Bold Justice League of America VS Starro and Molarr vs Skeletor. Now for Round 2!

The Final Battle: Avatar Jake Sully Vs Colonel Miles Quaritch - Comes in a diorama package with Jake leaping into the final battle against one ticked off marine who knows how to handle a bad ass exo suit. This pack features a new Jake head, all new decos and new accessories.

The Real Ghostbusters Retro Action Figure - EMCE, the masters of MEGO lend their talents beyond the world of DC for a visit to cartoon land. This figure features Peter Venkman in his "Citizen Ghost" episode outfit; the one episode where the crew wore their movie outfits.


From Toy Story 3 comes Lots-O-Huggin' Bear (aka Lotso) which appears to be flocked AND scented with strawberry goodness. Kids...don't eat him. His little cane is attached to his hand, as you can see in the pics.





Last, we get a look at The Undertaker in a highly requested outfit which he wore when fighting the Big Boss Man at Wrestlemania 15. You might think it odd that JAKKS never took the WWE madness to San Diego Comic Con, but maybe they didn't want the kind of backlash that will inevitably come with offering a brand new figure of the Undertaker exclusively at SDCC?! Let's hope they offer plenty on Mattycollector.com.