A NEW Iron Man 3 Trailer Takes the Iron Men to WAR

HOLY DAMN. This is one of those trailers that takes your anticipation from Hell Yes to MY GOD I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. Can we have the movie open tomorrow? Please?

I'm Captain Planet, M'er F'er

Sure, I curse in my articles, but you don't have to do it in the titles. It's just crass! Fuck, yea. That is an example of just one of the lessons taught to me by Captain Planet, whom I credit for all my writing skills. As my generation emerge from their cocoons as hairy, awkward, horrifically anti-social adults, it seems the image of Captain Planet we have kept in our brains has been rotting...distorting...warping into some vile thing worthy of mockery. LIES I TELL YOU!! When our planet is ready to shake us off like so many ticks on the back of a wet dog, we will finally remember what the Captain could have done for us..and you know what...he'll be someplace in that other dimension..laughing...probably drinking a Tab... Because YOU didn't recycle Pete Caballero. I hope you're happy. Here are two prime examples of how modern society is disgracing the spotless image of the Captain. Please address your concerns about further parody to your local congressperson.

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet from Don Cheadle

Remember kids, Captain Planet does NOT kick people in the balls...but he will drop you out the window of a 30 story building if you don't cut the plastic rings that hold bottles of soda together before disposing of them. Save those turtles, y'all!

New Iron Man 2 Eye Candy

2 WEEKS!!! The privileged on the west coast have already been pumped full of armored ecstasy, but for us normal folks, its just another 2 weeks til we dive back into the Marvel Movie Universe. Paramount dishes out new clips (which I'm not posting because I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BY SOME OF THIS FREAKING MOVIE) and new images I will actually post..for you...out of love. I even did a clean up on the Black Widow/Tony Stark pic as it was grainy and she looked like she had a 5 o'clock shadow and armpit stubbles.


Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present the highly anticipated sequel to the blockbuster film based on the legendary Marvel Super Hero “Iron Man,” reuniting director Jon Favreau and Oscar® nominee Robert Downey Jr. In “Iron Man 2,” the world is aware that billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is the armored Super Hero Iron Man. Under pressure from the government, the press and the public to share his technology with the military, Tony is unwilling to divulge the secrets behind the Iron Man armor because he fears the information will slip into the wrong hands. With Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), and James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle) at his side, Tony forges new alliances and confronts powerful new forces.

MAY 7th Mother Truckers!!! Bring yo slurpee cups!!!

Iron Man 2 Poster Revealed

I'll just let you soak this in.


Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow
Mickey Rourke as Whiplash
Olivia Munn (G4) as Iron Maiden
Don Cheadle as War Machine
Sam Jackson as Nick Fury


...and Stan Lee as Larry King. I guarantee you there will be a picture somewhere of Stan posing with the beautiful Ironette dancers.

Sold? Sold. This is the number one reason I'm excited for 2010.




Poster credit Yahoo Movies.