Lost Questions...REVEALED!!

So there are a few lose ends left over from the series finale of LOST. Yes, I know everyone smiled at each other and then made out before going off to heaven, but what is left behind is a giant stack of unanswered questions throughout the mythology of the show..and they are still there....waiting...for college humor to ask them and now you'll watch and laugh and then cry a lot. It's what Lost people do.

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LOST Finale Delivers Classic Hollywood Resolution

And that is to say, it didn't really, concretely resolve anything.

Before I go on my rant, I understand some of you have Tivo'd and some are on the west coast, so DO NOT READ THIS until you watch the ending because there is NO WAY to have this discussion without throwing all the details out there. We clear? Coolio.

When a TV show surrounded in mystery comes to a close, the fans of that show ask for the answers in the wrap up. The trouble with that is, those fans might not like what they see. The show creators know this, so they put in as many answers as they care to in bringing the show to their planned conclusion, then toss out a series of images and wordage as to make that ending speculative. In the case of Lost, we have the "Five People you Meet in Heaven" ending...only with more than 5 people of course. The colored window in back of Jack's father in the church scene represents the world's belief systems as he tells him "I'm dead, you're dead and yea, they are all dead in there" but, since time is irrelevant in Heaven, we don't know who went and when and further, if there was even an island in the first place. If we are to listen to and believe what the writers have put on the screen, then the events on the island were a sort of Limbo..maybe for all involved..maybe for just Jack. Either way, we've been watching Jack's journey throughout the series and now he "gets it" and makes the sacrifices necessary for him to feel his job is done..and can move on. Of course, this makes all the Jakob and his brother fighting for eternity on an island that holds in the evils of the universe plot completely pointless..but who cares. We got to see everyone re-unite in the happy sideways heaven universe and smile at each other. Don't get me wrong, this is highly dramatic stuff for people who watched the show all that time and yanks on the heart strings with flawless expertise. Every actor brought their A game. Many a manly man shed big baby tears tonight. For a casual watcher that wanted in on the finale so they'd know what people are talking about at the water cooler tomorrow, I can imagine the boredom, confusion and numb ass they received.

In the final moments of the show, we see Jack giving up the ghost, staring at the sky as a plane leaves the island. We'd already been told the "Heaven scenario" before this moment, so why bother? It leaves the door open for speculation. The fan is now able to talk about the "REAL" ending of the show. Are they really going home? Are they still in their own limbo? Was the plane taking off a metaphor for Jack's soul heading for Heaven? Who cares. My annoyance begins and ends with all the mystery being thrown out the window in favor of this Heaven answer. How ever you paint it, its a cop out. Would it have hurt them to resolve the events on the island with a little more explanation and keep the sideways universe the idealized world created from Jack's sacrifice, meaning that all that stuff happens after Jack recaps the glow? Who knows why these choices are made. I'm just glad I didn't become more emotionally invested in the show than just being a casual fan. It's over. You can all stop yelling at me now.

Supplemental Notes:

CHEERS! to the show creators selling out to Target on the very last day, with commercials showing the smoke monster bested by a smoke alarm, available at Target on sale NOWW!! I'd like to see a further commercial with Hurley sneaking bite size candy bars during key moments in the show's history, finally explaining why he didn't shed any weight.

JEERS to the creators of the show's history recap for pretending the tail section story line didn't happen at all, even going so far as to block Mr. Eko out of the montage shots. Wasn't he a major player for a stretch??!! You also didn't give Michelle Rodriguez her due, even though she was used in the sideways heaven. Boggles the mind.

My friend Chris says that Ben was hit in the face 108 times over the course of the show's history. I believe him.