Monday, December 19, 2011

Holiday Geekbook: Behold ..The Power of CUTE

Let's get things straight right out of the gate. Girls have always loved comics and toys. If they did not, I would still be a virgin. Girls watch all my cartoons, build my LEGOs, lovingly pet my Mogwai, slip into my ThinkGeek Tauntaun Sleeping Bag and fondle my AT-AT's on a daily basis. Yea.

That said, please understand that the power of cute also works on a bi-sexual level. Funko's POP! Vinyl line? Fucking adorable. My Little Ponies? Ridiculously cute. She-Ra's horse Swiftwind? The most badass unipegasus that ever speared a monster through the head while still keeping its rainbow wings sparkly clean and bright. Here's my run down of key selections from the world of geek cute...

Funko Pop! Vinyl figures: Never has there been a line that was so packed with diverse licenses while still maintaining a central look. The style is hard to resist, and if their presence in just about every store that sells toys across the US is any indication...mission accomplished! Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Disney, Star Wars, KISS, Run DMC, The Ramones, Spooky Cereal Mascots, Elvis, Horror Icons...the list goes on and on. Just pick your poison and start filling your desk with vinyl so cute, you can practically use them as a weapon to get whatever you want out of a co-worker. HOW CAN THEY SAY NO TO THOSE FACES??!!

Want to pull out the big guns? Take the Pop! Vinyl style and put it on a plush body. Nyooooo..not the squishy terrorrrrr. It's toooo cudlyyyyyy. Funko tossed The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland onto their heap of licenses and translated them fantastically into a Plushie format. Their latest release is Chuck Norris himself, packed with a sound chip that sounds off on the raw power at his fingertips.

"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs."
"Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is."
"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding."
"Chuck Norris is not afraid of death. Death is afraid of Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him."

You know...all his greatest hits.
Funko have also recently released a line called Blox, taking a similar style and plugging it into a somewhat larger..umm...blockier vinyl piece. The format is fairly engaging and I'd say the only thing missing from it is a little wall hanger hole in the back. Think about could fill a whole wall this Funko goodness! I'll be passing that tip on.

My Little Pony: Do you know what a Bronie is? It's a male fan of My Little Pony. I didn't make that up. My Little Pony is back and looks to be more popular than ever. The toys are filling many a shelf with pastel pony magic while a cartoon series is compelling folks to cosplay horses at conventions near you. YES...I SAID THEY ARE COSPLAYING HORSES! Now, the toy line is all well and good, portraying the TV characters in the classic format my lady friends grew up with, but they just don't grab the sort of stylized look of the show. Enter the Friendship is Magic Gift set with figures sporting sculpted hair instead of the usual comb-able variety, which in my opinion makes them look more like their TV counterparts. The set includes Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Spike the Dragon, Pinkie Pie and Applejack, a crown accessory and a storybook. My advice? Make more of these figures! There is a legion of fans who would buy figures closer to the cartoon series look in a heartbeat, so get crackin' Hasbro!

Masters of the Universe:
Yes, this line is dominated with bulging, roid raged space barbarians, but there is also Teela, The Sorceress, Evil Lyn..and..umm...OH YEA! A chick names She-Ra! Mattel have just released She-Ra's horse Swiftwind and a new She-Ra to ride her and has promised that 2012 will have plenty more characters from the cartoon series for you to score. You can also walk into a Toys R Us right now and snap up a Supergirl / She-Ra action figure 2 pack. How can you say no?

CLICK HERE to score a Swiftwind for your incoming She-Ra figure
The My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Gift set is on sale HERE
Be conflicted over the Chuck Norris Plush's badassery and squishy cuteness after u buy him HERE
Test your willpower with this Johnny Ramone Pop! Vinyl and then see if you can resist the 300 other figures Funko has to offer HERE!

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