
PORTAL BOOK ENDS!!
There are a lot of manuals for employees of Aperture Laboratories. But you don't necessarily have to read them. Being honest here. We used to hire smarter folks, but ourdeathturnover rate is so high that we've had to lower our standards to the less-than-literate. But here's your Employee Manual and the various books on radiation poisoning that the government requires us to give all new hires.
With rubber padding on the bottom and Tonka-tuff aluminum construction, this is no piece of junk bunk gift! Unfortunately, everyone loves them so they are out of stock at the moment, but keep checking back for availability. The site says there's a restock coming this February!But really, don't bother reading them. It's not necessary to do your job. Just follow Cave Johnson's voice and you'll be fine, okay? Take these bookends, they'll hold the books up. Why yes, they do look exactly like a test subject going through a portal on one side and out the portal on the other. Pretty clever, isn't it? Now let's get you off to your first testing assignment - I hear you're in the control group.



Other uses for Portal Book Ends...
- Ball De-rollifier
- Action Figure Diorama: Placing the figures back to front, it will look like your little portal guy is running right through them!
- Doorstop
- Awesome headgear (just add duct tape)
Captain America Hoodie:
Sometimes when you're a super soldier you just wanna sit around the house in something comfortable. Body armor doesn't really work when you're ready to put your feet up at the end of a long day. But maybe you don't want to lose your iconic look. That's where this product comes in. It has the look of the first Avenger combined with the comfort of your favorite hoodie.My brief comment would be "excellent but odd construction". Eileen was the tester for this one and as you can see, while the hoodie keeps you warm in the rain and is comfortable even while running into battle, the hood itself is oddly put together, making the wearer look like more like a Troma hero than a Marvel one! Heeeesterical. For some, this will be a selling point. The spot where the A is stands up, creating a sort of Shark/Human effect. Maybe this is what you've been hunting for all along? Perhaps you are a shark creature and this is just the ticket? SOLD! Sadly, this is also out of stock for now.Our previous version of this hoodie had all the details printed on in plastisol, which made it a bit stiff. This new, improved version has the details sewn on and embroidered. It makes for a much softer hoodie with better movement.
Long-sleeve, full-zip hooded sweatshirt is 60% cotton / 40% polyester. It has two front pockets and ribbed cuffs and bottom. Note that although there is a design on the hood, the zipper extends only to the neck and does not include the hood. The eyes on the sides of the hood are cut out. The A and the wings are stitched on.

Iron Man Light Up Arc Reactor T Shirt:
Did you run out and buy that toy Arc reactor that clips to your shirt? Throw it out. Immediately. It is for a hobo costume. ThinkGeek's comfy T Shirt is required attire for any would be Tony Starks or anyone looking to add a little cosplay to their adult dress up clothes. I will be wearing this to every formal event from now on! The Tony T Shirt is available now!The Iron Man Arc Reactor Shirt has three components: the t-shirt, a light panel with a long cable, and a battery box.
This may look like a standard t-shirt, but it's actually the Iron Man Mark IX suit. This latest version is much lighter than all previous versions, featuring a flexible interior with knitted cotton exterior. Unlike the Extremis version, the movement with your body does not require you to inject carbon nanotubes into your brain. The chest-mounted uni-beam is powered by photons, which it collects and then disperses when the wearer enters a dark area. For all body parts covered by the Mark IX's new form factor, the suit provides protection from adverse weather conditions, UV rays, and temperature extremes. It is designed for up to two days of use inside Earth's atmosphere, although after the first 12 hours of use its effectiveness is reduced. After 24 hours, it begins to act as a repulsor.
and the best for last...
WI-FI DETECTOR T SHIRT!!

We took the Wi-Fi T Shirt out for a test drive and it worked perfectly. Did anyone suspect that in the future, all McDonalds locations would have Wi-Fi?! What a tweest. No Wi-Fi at Hallmark or Walmart and very little at Toys R Us. We ran up to a random house with a giant Santa on a Motorcycle on the lawn and they had a couple of bars. We returned to the Idle Cave where we were sure to have excellent Wi-Fi but couldn't get it past 2 bars until I summoned the spirits of my ancestors to boost the bars to full! So...this means...the shirt doubles as a spirits of your ancestors detector as well. Don't quote me on that...but do buy it.





Happy Holidays!!
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