Let’s be honest. If you’re looking for something with a NatGeo/Conservation-type ending wrapped up in a pretty bow, you won’t find it here.
What you WILL find is a generous amount of hilarity and gore, as Justin Long further cements his credentials as Scream King; a title he’s well-earned since Jeepers Creepers and Tusk.
With a relatively small cast, Coyotes balances comedy with jump scares, and just the right amount of blood and wine (so to speak). I’ve read complaints about the film “not being fleshed out to give EVERY character a backstory,” and I disagree. A majority of the cast you meet right before their demise (every death is savage yet hilarious), so why bother wasting the celluloid? The only characters who get a proper story are the Stewart family: Scott (Long), Wife Liv (Kate Bosworth, “Blue Crush,” “Barbarian”) and daughter Chloe (Mila Harris, “King Saud”). Scott has worked overtime to get his family out of their previously crappy situation and into a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills.
Before you wonder if animals are eaten, those who have seen the trailer already know. BUT just in case you haven’t, here you go.
Life is pretty good until unexpected guests come down to wreak havoc, and no one is safe. Once the action kicks off, it becomes “man vs wild” in the most comical sense of the phrase. And although the coyotes are mostly CGI, it doesn’t make them any less scary, nor does it deter you from wanting to root for them at times. It also has a ton of moments where you want to yell “HIDE,” “Holy SHIT,” or just straight up scream, then laugh…the cornerstones of any horror movie worth its salt.
Besides The Stewarts, we’re introduced to a handful of neighbors, an escort, and an exterminator named Devon who comes to The Stewart house to deal with a suspected rat problem. Played by Keir O’Donnell (Wedding Crashers, I’m Just F*cking With You, Sons of Anarchy), Devon gives off a “California Cynic” vibe mixed with an IDGAF attitude that reminded me of John Goodman in Arachnophobia, only Devon’s a much bigger asshole. Then we have next-door neighbor, Trip, your typical rich guy in The Hills who runs around his house practically in his underwear and loves hookers, cocaine, booze, and his cat. Effortlessly portrayed by Norbert Leo Butz (Fosse/Verdon, A Complete Unknown), you find yourself feeling love and ick from Trip and said hooker, Julie (Brittany Allen, “Dexter: Original Sin” “The Boys”), who gets as good as she gives…even if the advice is a tad misguided. Julie’s self-preservation mode is incredible, because when it comes down to her or her client in a life or death situation, the John will save themselves first, and she don’t play that shit.
When the power is knocked out of several homes in the area, the coyotes come out in full force for food and whatever else they can fuck up along the way, including humans. Much like the Star Trek TOS episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles,” we see the effect play out in the movie - only WE are the Tribbles who’ve invaded nature and are now learning what happens when you encroach on someone else’s property and leave no choice BUT to fight. Exactly WHY they show up at The Stewart’s house is the “cautionary tale” bit I was referring to earlier…but I can’t tell you because it’s something you should learn from the film. You might possibly say “I told you so,” or “I fucking KNEW it,” to yourself…much like I did.
AND the film’s ending leaves the door open for a sequel…which could be interesting, kind of like how every shark after JAWS is out to get Chief Brody and his family throughout the franchise.
With all the bullshit we’re currently dealing with in real time, Coyotes is a MUCH needed distraction. If you go in wanting a fun romp filled with blood, guts, and laughs, congratulations! You chose wisely.
Coyotes is rated R and opens nationwide Friday, October 3rd.
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