Wednesday, August 31, 2011

DC's New 52 : The Glowy Pink Tart Conspiracy

Who is so named as she was first spotted by the eagle eyed folks at Bleeding Cool, which is a Brit site, so we use their lingo. ..Besides, I like calling her a Pink Tart. It's like she's a breakfast cereal. At any rate, you are now asking what the frik I'm going on about. Here's the skinny.

Bleeding Cool reported that, after reading Flashpoint #5 (released today), they were introduced to a pink, glowy woman in a cloak who speaks to Barry Allen about splintered timelines and how he can help make them whole once more. Could the result of their works be the new 52 universe??!! It certainly looks that way. BC went on to point out that in their copy of Justice League #1 (also released today), that same pink tart pops up in the stands of a football game. As I read their article, I remembered the glowing pink person in the background of a crowd shot in Justice League International #1 which had me wondering when this mysterious apparition would pop up again (in the book I mean..most likely as some herald of impending doom if past reading has taught me anything.) Now we had three books with the pink tart hiding out like some radioactive puffy sticker or the female super hero version of Where's Waldo. I rushed over to my pile to scan for other sightings.

Batgirl - Check
OMAC - Check
Animal Man - Check
Action Comics - Check

That's 6 for 6. DUN dun DUN duuuuuuuuuun. I smell a con-spiracy. Keep watching Bleeding Cool and Idle Hands as we join forces across the pond to unravel the greatest mystery of our time!!!

UPDATE: I can now confirm that the "pink tart" is in Detective Comics, Hawk and Dove, Stormwatch, Men of War, Batwing and Swamp Thing. Some of her appearances put her very close to the heroes in the book, suggesting she can't be seen, somewhat like the Spectre? She certainly has the hood for it. Over at the Bleeding Cool forums, comic die hards have suggested she is a character called the Time Trapper, who absolutely has the pink robes and the power to appear in all of these places. It should also be noted that the nature of this entity's power dictates he/she can not alter events in the present time, which goes along with her "Watcher" shtick. It also might be worth mentioning that his/her appearance in Stormwatch was very near Martian Manhunter, who did not sense anything. The plot thickens!! I think it's safe to say you'll see the "pink tart" in all the 52 books. Happy Hunting!

I'm Captain Planet, M'er F'er

Sure, I curse in my articles, but you don't have to do it in the titles. It's just crass! Fuck, yea. That is an example of just one of the lessons taught to me by Captain Planet, whom I credit for all my writing skills. As my generation emerge from their cocoons as hairy, awkward, horrifically anti-social adults, it seems the image of Captain Planet we have kept in our brains has been rotting...distorting...warping into some vile thing worthy of mockery. LIES I TELL YOU!! When our planet is ready to shake us off like so many ticks on the back of a wet dog, we will finally remember what the Captain could have done for us..and you know what...he'll be someplace in that other dimension..laughing...probably drinking a Tab... Because YOU didn't recycle Pete Caballero. I hope you're happy. Here are two prime examples of how modern society is disgracing the spotless image of the Captain. Please address your concerns about further parody to your local congressperson.

Remember kids, Captain Planet does NOT kick people in the balls...but he will drop you out the window of a 30 story building if you don't cut the plastic rings that hold bottles of soda together before disposing of them. Save those turtles, y'all!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Neil Patrick Harris on Adventure Time!

How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris lends his voice to a special episode of Cartoon Network’s hit animated series Adventure Time. Neil Patrick Harris stars as Prince Gumball in “Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake”, a gender-swapping, parallel universe episode featuring the female “Fionna” and her cat “Cake.” The episode premieres Monday, Sept. 5 at 8 p.m. (ET/PT).

I can already hear the ladies SQUEEEEEE'ing all across the globe. TOOOO MUCH CUTE!! ~thud~ There..that about sums it up? The best part of the trailer for this episode was Prince Gumball's friend, the monochromatic black unicorn that made "cake" go WOOOO, Child! Seems Cake is a sassy black woman on the inside.

Care for a sneak preview? Yes, have some!

DC's New 52 : Justice League International Comic Preview

Back into our mini-preview of DC Comics' new 52! Tomorrow, Justice League will pave the way for their 51 cousins, re-introducing well known characters like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern, now tweaked ever so slightly, given new outfits and dropped in a world more real then any we've seen them face. Next week, the United Nations gets into the action and forms their own team of heroes representing the super powers across the globe, now quite literally working together for the common good. The result is Justice League International.

The Outline - Written by DAN JURGENS, Art by AARON LOPRESTI and MATT RYAN & Cover by AARON LOPRESTI
With the growing presence of super beings around the world, the United Nations resolves to create a new group called Justice League International. Batman, Booster Gold, Green Lantern Guy Gardner, August General in Iron, Fire, Ice, Vixen, Godiva and Rocket Red are charged with promoting unity and trust – but can they reach that goal without killing each other first?

The Review - When the JLI first appeared on the comic racks, I'm told it was more of a joke than anything; a less tense, more dysfunctional version of the Justice League. "Let's put Booster Gold (the sponsor loving media hog) and Guy Gardener (the arrogant, hot tempered Green Lantern) on a team together and watch the bickering commence!" The new 52 dictates that this iteration of the team be a more realistic approach. If the top heroes formed a league and followed none of "man's laws" but those they imposed upon themselves, then the United Nations would form their own team, packed with glowing, powerful representatives of their combined nations so they would look as good on the 10 o'clock news as they do while in battle, defending the citizens.

With a cast of characters to introduce (presumably to new readers), half of this book is devoted to Andre Briggs who assembles the team (with a green light from the UN..sort of). Through his short display for the government officials, we see The Creeper, B'Wana Beast, Plastic Man and Metamorpho are all living in the new 52niverse..and oddly seem to retain their iconic costumes! You'd really think Plastic Man and B'Wana, at the very least, would get makeovers. Hell, even Luke Cage left the 70's behind. More interesting still, the heroes, when assembled for the first time, do so at the Hall of Justice, which appears to be a public building before the UN take it over. No hints at who may have occupied it previously. It is also worth mentioning that the team on the cover of the book is not exactly the team we follow into their first least for this first issue...and it isn't exactly the team fully endorsed by the UN. Dan Jurgens (the writer) has mentioned in interviews that this team will be ever evolving as government bureaucracy rears its ugly head and politicians make it clear that Booster Gold is only a leader for as long as they will it to be.

It is with this subtext and a swift kick in the ass that the League, just having met and not at full strength, journey off to find a missing research team. In the few "getting to know you" panels we get, you'll see bickering between clashing cultures, flirting from a certain female hero who can appreciate a man in uniform, back sass at the Batman and a general air that should anything heavy come up...this crew might get WILL THEY SURVIVE ISSUE #1??!! Well..of course they will..because DC has already posted teasers for #2 and #3. Way to spoil the suspense. I'm a huge fan of the dysfunctional family dynamic and when those people leaving behind their differences and stepping up to save the world are also super powered, I'm glued in. Justice League International already has the vibe of early issues of Thunderbolts where each hero seems confident in their own power but sort of laughs (at least internally) at the notion that they could ever act as a well trained, well coordinated team. Since most of the book is eaten up with these "getting to know you" bits, the action is sparse. In fact, the crew has barely been on the ground for mere moments before their foes attack and seconds later...end of book. All necessary I'm afraid, as the first half of the comic sets the tone for the series. Without it, it's just another team hero book with oddball characters thrown together as if someone used the "darts thrown at a cork board" method. Luckily, the process is fun, so you should be entertained enough to be anticipating the next issue. The characters are engaging, the underlying plot is very relatable in our modern times and the art, while fairly typical of hero comics, is solid. I'll definitely keep reading, so long as the writing keeps up this very fluid, natural way people interact and the reveal of the insidious Signal Men isn't a dud. Of course, a giant robot rising out of the ground is a strong indication of an awesome fight ahead!

Quick Notes on Characters:
Booster Gold - Seems not as cocky as we are used to. Still from the future. Missing Skeets?! Is still a little self conscious.
Vixen - Not given a lot of page time so far, but she doesn't seem as sassy as I remember. Still strong and confident, though.
Guy Gardener - Still a hot head..still arrogant..still not taking any bull. States he has been in action for some time now.
Batman - Seems more like a unifying force, contrary to his classic loner personality. Batman is concerned with heroes succeeding, together, for the greater good. Way more talkative as well.

What Comes Next - JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #2 - On sale OCTOBER 5 - The United Nations’ new international team of heroes must learn to work together – and fast – if they’re going to discover the mystery behind the giant alien Signalmen who are appearing all over the globe. Can Booster Gold lead his team to victory, or will they fall?
JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #3 - On sale NOVEMBER 2 - With the appearance of four giant, alien Signalmen, the JLI must split up to investigate the mysterious cavern beneath each one. Will the individual teams be able to handle what hides in the dark? Or will it be too late by the time the next phase comes into play…

CLICK HERE for our BATGIRL Preview & Review!

Hit up DREAD CENTRAL for a preview & review of ANIMAL MAN!

JLI comic page without words courtesy of Newsrama

Monday, August 29, 2011

DC's New 52 : Batgirl Comic Preview

DC Comics is on a mission to save comic books. The powers that be, tired of underselling titles and the glaring fact that kids don't take to comics the way we did when we were young, gathered their top writers, artists and other creative types and set out to reboot their entire universe. Of course, change doesn't make everyone happy, and the legions of fans already reading DC Comics made their displeasure heard loud and clear. Current story lines now seemed pointless. "Are you reading Flash Point" I would ask friends. "Why bother? It will all be irrelevant in a month" came the bitter answer. The sentiment made sense, but I could also see the reason to shake things up. I personally hadn't bought a DC title since Nightwing ended and Green Arrow got a taste for killing, and while I love American Vampire, Vertigo isn't the same as the DC Universe (or at least it wasn't until John Constantine and Swamp Thing were brought into the central universe. Small note..DC, PLEASE DON'T CANCEL VERTIGO!!) Now, at a time when the 30 Deadpool titles are wearing thin and in general, Marvel takes forever to release a trade as they look for that extra 5 dollars they can get if you buy the hardcover premiere edition, DC has my undivided attention. BRING ME SOMETHING NEW!! This week, we'll give you a mini-taste of what's to come in the new 52. Let's get things started with...

BATGIRL : The Outline - Written by GAIL SIMONE, Art by ARDIAN SYAF and VICENTE CIFUENTES & Cover by ADAM HUGHES - Yes, it's really happening! Barbara Gordon is back as Batgirl – and she's going to have to face the city's most horrifying new villains as well as the dark secrets from her past. You won't want to miss this stunning debut issue from fan-favorite BIRDS OF PREY writer Gail Simone!

The Review - Batgirl #1 sees Barbara Gordon getting back on her feet...literally. The book acknowledges the events of a certain, now cult classic moment in comics' history when Barbara answered her door and found The Joker on the other side. With the flash of a gun, Barbara's life was seemingly changed forever as she resigned herself to life in a wheelchair. It has been a hard road to recovery but Babs is ready to kick some ass again. We follow her into the night where people do unspeakable things in the shadows. As Batgirl, Barbara has all the skills needed to take down thugs, slashers and even the occasional powered up baddie, but can her mind handle the battle once more? The appearance of a vigilante named The Mirror will put that to the test.

Batgirl is ACTION PACKED with no shortage of people in peril and the woman in black coming to the rescue with a boot to the cranium. You get to hear what is going on in Batgirl's head while she exudes nothing but strength and a bit of a mischievous evil streak. She definitely enjoys her work! If this were on TV, you'd be cheering for nearly the whole show. We also spend plenty of time with Barbara out of the cowl as she is all but starting her life over again. It is an interesting counterpoint, but while it is obvious she still has some demons to chase away, we never get the sense that Barbara is a fragile girl, or even damaged beyond repair. She's not out to prove herself, nor is she extra bloody in her fighting style as she doles out damage on foes she wishes were The Joker. It's refreshing to see that none of those old trappings weigh down this story. In the end, Batgirl comes face to face with The Mirror...and in one week, you'll get to see what happens next! Suffice to say, the battle doesn't go according to anyone's plan and blood is spilled. This comic is quick and dirty and I love it.

What Comes Next - Batgirl #2 - The nightmare-inducing brute known as Mirror is destroying the lives of Gotham City citizens seemingly at random, and an explosive confrontation between Batgirl and Mirror leads Babs to question wearing the cape and cowl at all!

Batgirl #3 - It’s the story you’ve been waiting for! As Barbara Gordon struggles to find her place in the world, Batgirl and Nightwing collide with the unstoppable force of a train wreck! Will it be sparks flying, or fists for this star-crossed duo? Also, the terrifying Mirror ups the ante in his bizarre war on the citizens of Gotham City!

Batgirl #1 hits comic shops and DC Digital Download September 7th, 2011

Batgirl #1 preview images courtesy of the New York Post

Hit up DREAD CENTRAL for a preview of ANIMAL MAN!

D23 : John Carter Footage Breakdown

We took a moment to survive a category 1 hurricane but now we are BACK into our D23 roundup with Steve Sievers of giving us a rundown of all the wonders Disney had on display. Plenty to ooo and ahh at still to come! For now, we jump back into the Disney Films presentation for a little John Carter action...

Sean Bailey, President of Productions of Walt Disney came out to talk about John Carter. This 3D movie is based on the 1911 novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs who is most famous as the author of Tarzan. Sean introduces Producer Jim Morris and director Andrew Stanton to the stage. Andrew talks about how he read the books and 1970's Marvel comic book series as a kid and has been picturing this movie in his head since then. The movie follows John Carter, a Civil War veteran from Virginia who goes through a cave and is transported to Mars. There he finds himself amid the chaos of war and learns that with less gravity he is now stronger and can jump higher than the natives. The stars of the films hit the stage including Taylor Kitsch who plays John Carter (from TV’s Friday Night Lights & Gambit in the Wolverine movie. I personally think it is about time he got a lead in an action movie!) Lynn Collins comes out next. She plays Dejah Thoris who guides John Carter on his adventure on Mars. Willem Dafoe is last on stage, playing Tars Tarkas, the alien from Mars. Willem's character is CG in the film but he wore a grey motion capture suit on set and had to walk around on stilts in the desert. Willem talked about how he had to train for weeks before shooting to figure out not only how to walk on the stilts but act on them as well. Lucky he didn't have any falls out on the rugged terrain. Taylor Kitsch was proud to say he did most of his own stunts!

Next up: Eye Candy! First, they showed the trailer ..

Then they showed a bunch of clips from the film. Here’s the skinny:

1: John Carter first wakes up on Mars. He comes across a nest of alien eggs hatching with these cute babies crawling around. An alien group is riding these alien looking horses (you get the’s an alien jamboree) across the plains. One of them throws a spear at John. John jumps out of the way and quickly learns that he can jump way higher than he normally could. One of the aliens gets off his horse and pleads to his fellow aliens to not hurt John. It is Tars Tarkas, who tries to communicate with John (the aliens don't speak English.) Tars drops his gun and the spears he has on his back. He tries to get John to jump again because no one has ever seen that before. John does it, but jumps over Tars to the weapons he has left at the bottom of the hill. One of the other aliens, still on his ride, starts to fire his gun at John but Tars shields him from the bullet. END OF CLIP

2: John Carter wakes up in a jail cell with his hands chained to the wall. The camera pans down and we see that the cute, newly hatched aliens from the first clip are on the ground around him sleeping with many of them curled up in his lap with legs like little puppy dogs. Many women in the audience can be heard saying Awww how cute. (GOLD!) John uses his Mars super strength to break free. He starts to explore and meets his new best friend, an alien dog with 12 legs. The dog instantly falls in love with John and all it wants to do is lick his face. John tries to run away but the dog keeps following him. Finally John does his super jump to get away, but every time he does this, the dog appears next to him. During the next jump, we see the dog uses his 12 legs to run as fast as the Flash and is able to climb up the rocky terrain without hesitation. END OF CLIP

3: John Carter has his warrior gear on (what he wears in the trailer) and is in the private chambers of Dejah Thoris (she looks just like a human.. seems human or human-like aliens are a race on Mars.) She is a princess and is being forced to marry someone from a rival (tribe?) on Mars to try and keep the peace. At this point you can tell that she and John have fallen in love. John is trying to talk her out of the marriage. She attempts to give him a blue medallion and have him speak an oath to become leader of (I would assume) her warrior clan. Meanwhile the door is getting knocked on and people are trying to break in. She tells John she has no choice and looks down at his finger at the wedding ring he wears (we assume he is married to someone back on Earth.) She starts to teach him the oath and as he repeats it, the medallion begins to glow. He stops on the last phrase of the oath and she yells at him to "Say it!" Meanwhile the door bursts open and people come rushing in to her chambers ask "are you ok?" Yes, she replies. "Are you alone in here?" She sadly turns her back and a tear comes out "Yes...I am alone." END OF CLIP

4: John and Tars are sentenced to death and are in gladiator arena that looks straight out of a scene from Star Wars : Attack of the Clones when they are on Geonosis. John’s left ankle is handcuffed with a long chain to the wall while Tars is injured on his right side and holds his wound in agony. A gate opens and a huge White Ape with 4 arms emerges. The ape attacks Tars and John but both keep dodging out of its way. John is trying his best to pull the chain out of the wall to free himself. The audience in the arena are cheering loudly and we see someone in a kingly-type press box say "Release the other one." Another gate opens and a second giant white ape with four arms comes out. END OF CLIP

Check out more images from D23 by CLICKING HERE!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Promise Not to Spoil the Shallow Gravy Special For You

We, the battered masses who love Venture Brothers, lay in wait. We devour each season as if it were a crust of bread on Paris Hilton's plate. (wait..Paris probably hisses at carbs. Never mind.) We drink deeply from the whine jug of the mirthy Dionysus as each episode plays before us and when that moment is over, we are cast into oblivion, left only with re-runs to relive those treasured times and the promise of DVD extras to come. Perhaps we invite over a friend who has never seen the show and leech off of their gleeful energy as they watch...but the taste is never as sweet. Truly, we are addicts..and as a wise man with an awesome voice might say.. "I got a feva..and the only more Venture Brothers." My brothers and sisters...prepare for that crust of bread.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! DOWN AND DIRTY IN THE MUUUUUUD!!! This Sunday on Cartoon Network at MIDNIGHT, we celebrate the premiere of The Venture Bros.: From The Ladle To The Grave—The Shallow Gravy Story. Here's the propaganda...

Follow the meteoric rise, the equally meteoric fall, and the decidedly un-meteor-like second coming of the most important band Hank Venture, Dermott Fictel and H.E.L.P.eR. robot have ever been in: Shallow Gravy. If you’re hungry for rock, then open wide, because here comes a ladle of heavy metal fire and metaphoric meat drippings.

This mini documentary covers the entire history of the musical juggernaut that is Shallow Gravy (that's maybe..6 to 8 months? give or take? I'm bad with the maths. We can even it out and call it a year.) Interviews were conducted with the families of Dermott and Hank to get both sides of the story and provide an accurate re-telling of events for future generations. Follow the band from their first meeting to their explosion onto the pulsating music scene and finally, the birth of the greatest song ever to be animated since the punk rock version of "Jabberjaw"... JACKET. ALL YOUR QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED!! All epic seriousness aside, the 15 minute episode is hysterical with little snippets from your favorite characters and even some story development relevant to the main show! Yes, this is cannon. Of course, the best part of the special is the actual music video for Jacket, which is practically a love song for VB fans worldwide. The lyrics are ridiculous and the song INSANELY catchy while the video packs in appearances from every ally of Venture Industries Hank could coax to appear. You won't miss this, so I don't even need to continue...and I can't anyway since the damn thing is 15 minutes long. It's like reviewing a single comic issue. You can only say about 5 things before you get into spoilers. As expected, the episode is awesome and will leaving you wanting more.

..And the wait begins....again.

A marathon of Hank and Dermott episodes will air from 9:30pm – midnight (ET, PT) on August 28th followed by this new 15-minute behind-the-music mockumentary at midnight (ET, PT) on Adult Swim. In anticipation of the special’s debut on Adult Swim, starting August 23, fans of The Venture Bros. can download the five-song Shallow Gravy EP featuring different reinterpretations and remixes of the band’s smash hit “Jacket” plus a music video via digital retailers. Then, on Monday, August 29, just one day after The Venture Bros.: From The Ladle To The Grave—The Shallow Gravy Story airs on the network, fans can check back with digital retailers and download the full uncensored episode to own.

CLICK HERE to grab the 5 song EP WITH the video for $3.99!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

D23 2011 : The Avengers Footage

Skipping ahead to the panel most people hit up this Disneypalooza for.. Steve Sievers of gives us a rundown of the footage shown for next year's most anticipated movie...The AVENGERS!!

Producer / President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige comes out to talk about The AVENGERS( coming May 2012)! I was hoping he would also talk about other Marvel movies in the works but he didn't say anything. Right off the bat, he introduces a clip saying "I know why you guys are here!"

The clips starts out with Nick Fury looking at Loki, who is in a giant glass dome jail cell. Nick goes over to a control panel and says "You if you scratch my glass you will fall 30,000 feet to your death" We can safely assume they are on the Shield Helicarrier. This is confirmed when the bottom of the jail opens up and we can see clouds below. Loki says he is impressed with this jail, but it wasn't designed to hold someone like him. Nick goes into a rant about how Loki tried to take the cube and use its power for bad and "kill for fun." Loki goes into a rant about how humans don't know how to use the power of the cube to tap its full, ultimate power. Mean while Thor, Captain America, Bruce Banner, Iron Man, Hawkeye, & Black Widow are watching this on a security camera from a round table somewhere in the helicarrier. Bruce says "Wow, he really grows on you, doesn't he?" Nick starts to leave the jail area and says "Well let me know if ultimate power needs any magazines."

In the next scene, Iron Man is behind a bar making a drink (sort of looks like he is at his house) and says "Let’s do a roll call, shall we? We’ve got two assassins.." with a quick shot of Black Widow and Hawkeye behind a destroyed car, on a bridge, firing their weapons. "We got the God of Thunder and the living legend who even looks like a living legend.." with a shot of Thor swinging his hammer at Captain America, who blocks it with his shield (why are they fighting each other?!) "..And then me!" Shot of Iron Man flying over the NYC sky line. We then see that Tony is talking to Loki at the bar. Loki says "Well I have an army" (sadly we don't see a clip of his army). Tony takes a slip of his drink and says "Well, we have a Hulk" and flips over to a close up of Hulk's face with him Roaring!!!! End of clip.

Kevin Feige brings out the cast including Chirs Hemsworth (Thor), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow), Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Cobie Smulders (S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Maria Hill) and Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) .. and the crowd goes nuts. Robert Downey Jr grabs the mic and says "Hey, I haven't seen that clip, lets show it again." They show the clip again and then the cast takes a bow and leaves. NO ONE ELSE SAID ANYTHING???!!! I was wondering if they were running late or something or maybe they just didn't want to give anything else away.

Seems odd Disney would go through the effort of bringing in most of the cast just to wave hello and go off to do private interviews with press, especially considering they had no panels at San Diego Comic Con. Jip! Seems like a missed opportunity to me.

For more pics of the Avengers cast, CLICK HERE!

For more pics from D23, HIT THIS!

Funniest Things Tweeted During Earthquakemagheddon 2011

The rattling of iron, the clinking of glasses and suddenly...THE SHAKING! A 5.9 earthquake hit the east coast today and in true doomed human fashion, we all ran to Twitter to see what the fuck was going on. Here's a run down of the funniest tweets from my heeesterical "friends"...

Scott Bateman : Oh sure, now that Brooklyn's had an earthquake, earthquakes are gonna be all trendy and shit now.

Joseph Scrimshaw : People in the Midwest just felt nothing. But that's not really news.

Judah Friedlander : Sorry for the earthquake NYC, I just did a couple of intense jumping jacks.

Stephanie Palermo : I guess I should add to the Earthquake hype. Only the guys in my office felt the earthquake, but all the ladies were oblivious. Not serious! (sexist earthquake)

Nate Cosby : That's why I left Manhattan. Cuz of the earthquakes. (and hobos)

@ : No earthquake in Kentucky, but it still kinda sucks here.

Scott Feinberg : It's funny how quickly people stop giving a shit about Libya..

@: Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door.

@ : a ground-level picture of the devastation in NYC (does this make me an iReporter?)

Sara Benincasa : The Earth is my new favorite vibrator.

@Danny Zuker : Oh, God. What did you do to her? RT @chrisbrown Please pray for Virginia.

Chuck Wendig : After the earthquake, I threw a chair through my front window and stole my TV. Mistakes were made.

And my contribution to the mess...

- Funny facts about the Earthquake of 2011: 80% of my friends said "fuck" when it happened and the other 20% asked if they were hallucinating.

- Funny facts about the Earthquake of 2011: First thoughts were "Must save TV from falling over" and "Call Mom." Then I flushed.

- Update: At 2:02, the 20% of my friends in disbelief now accept there was an earthquake and have gone back to smoking weed.

- Quote from random 16yr old girl with 3 kids "It was like um..shaking..and um..then, it had stopped. It was fuckin weird."

Sunday, August 21, 2011

D23 2011 : Planes & Wreck-It Ralph Revealed

Day two of Disney's massive D23 Expo began with me shoving Steve and Chelsea in a seat for three hours plus for a look at every movie (animated or otherwise) on Disney's slate got some sort of mention, clip or general introduction by cast and crew. Here's the vitals on "Planes" and "Wreck-It Ralph to get things started...

Steve: We got there an hour before hand to make sure we got a good press spot. The line outside went around the building. It was like a scene of Hall H from SDCC.

Me: yea i heard a lot of people were turned away?

Steve: Yes, a lot did. They say the arena holds 4,000 but I don't believe that. Could only imagine what it would be like if SDCC moved there. The presentation started out with a Walt Disney Studio Montage and then Rich Ross, Chairman of Walt Disney Studios came out. Rich said "I'm like you! I'm one of Disney's biggest fans!" The presentation starts with Disney Animation films in the works as Rich said a quote from Walt Disney "Animation is our bread & butter!" Then John Lasseter was introduced to the stage. (For those who still don't know who he is..he was the director of Toy Story/ Toy Story 2/ Cars and is Chief Creative Officer at Walt Disney Studios & Pixar Studios. The first film he talked about was "Planes". The film takes place in the cars universe...well actually above the cars universe which they use as the tag line in the teaser clip they showed.

Me: I think it's creepy the cars can go inside of bigger living's just weird...but we don't talk about the "Cars" universe among friends. It just raises too many questions...

Steve: Me too, but I'll still go see this!

Me: Me too!

Steve: The story follows a small crop duster name Dusty Crop Duster (naturally), a single engine plane who is orange and white and voiced by Two and a Half Men star Jon Cryer. When brought out on stage he said "I was so geeked out when I got asked to do a 'plane session'! To be a part of the cars universe is ridiculous. I must say that if you have a chance to do it, do it!" They showed a teaser trailer which had music from White Zombie- "More Human then Human", which I thought was weird for Disney. It was like a scene from Top Gun, on an aircraft carrier in sea, F-14 and F-18s were taking off the run away and Stealth Bombers flying high in the sky. Then a small single engine plane is brought up on the flight deck and the music stops and we see Dusty, who looks so excited to be there with the big jets, but he quickly turns to a puddle of nervousness when he is about to take off. He flys off the air craft carrier and we over-hear him screaming off camera as two F-14 planes are watching what is happening. One of them asks the other "Think he will be ok?" The camera then cuts to Dusty writing "COOL!" really big in the sky with his awesome cloud making skills. END OF CLIP

The next movie they brought up was "Wreck-It Ralph". Ralph is a 8 bit video game bad guy who travels to different arcade games to try and prove that he is a good guy.

Me: ....That rules

Steve: It does! John C. Reilly voices Ralph and Sarah Silverman voices Vanellope von Shweetz. Rich Moore, the director of the film, comes out. He also worked on The Simpsons & Futurama so I cheered really hard for him! They showed the first 4 mins of the film which is mostly storyboards and unfinished work but still cool. Ralph is a big guy who is only good at smashing stuff with his big arms. He climbs up the side of the building like the classic video game "Rampage" and stands at the top on the road and smashes down and dances like "Donkey Kong" in the classic DK video game. Then enters Fix-it Felix who looks a lot like Mario but wears blue instead of Red. Fix-it-Felix is the character that kids control in the game at the arcade. He is the hero who jumps around with a magic wrench which he somehow got from his father guessed it...fixes the damages that Ralph causes to the building. The arcade closes and when all is clear (no humans around), the characters in the arcade get to be themselves. The animation then switches from 8 bit style to classic Pixar style! All the residents of the apartment cheer on Fix-It Felix and then go home to their apartments while poor Ralph has to go sleep in his "home", which is a huge pile of trash. After Ralph tucks himself in with a pile of bricks he stares off at Fix-It Felix in the apartment complex as everyone gathers around him to hear his heroic tales. Ralph talks to himself about how he wishes he could be that good guy and people would like him. The next scene is Ralph at a Bad Guy Help group which looks like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with a circle of bad guy characters sitting on folding chairs at a community meeting center. A ghost from Pacman was in the group! One of the bad guys was talking and said "The other day I pulled a leg off some guy and I was bashing his leg over his head and I said to myself why am I doing this? I'm not a bad guy inside.. but then it hit me, someone has to be the bad guy in the video game!" Ralph talks about how he wishes he wasn't a bad guy. Then a zombie cuts him off by saying that being bad isn't shameful when suddenly a character that looks a lot like Kano from Mortal Kombat rips out the zombie's heart and the group laughs. The group ends their meeting with them all holding hands and says the Bad Guy Oath. Thats the end of the clip! The director brings Sarah Silverman and Jack McBrayer (who voices Fix-It Felix) onto the stage. They talk about how Ralph goes to the Central Station, which is a way he can travel from one arcade game to another. The first game he travels to looks just like Halo with all the characters wearing something similar to Spartan armor. That is wear Ralph meets Sgt CAlhoun (Jane Lynch from Glee). Ralph then travels to Sugar Kush, which is a car racing game and finds out a plan is in works to end all the arcade games for good and must SAVE THE DAY!

The Director asks Jack if he ever thought he would do a voice for a Disney film and he answered "My Own voice irritates me, so I never imaged doing a voice for a Disney cartoon!" Sarah was asked what she thought of Pixar movies and she remarked "I have a love hate relationship with Pixar films because I hate how they remind me of my inner feelings of love and stuff like that, but they are so entertaining that I always go see them all."

We are going to break this off right here as Steve has a MASSIVE pile of notes and is 2am when we are writing all this up. Sleep calls! Tonight we will have more so check back often!

CLICK HERE to dive into our Flickr where there are already pics of the rest of the presentations including the stars of Brave, Monsters University. The Muppets and THE AVENGERS!

The CLICK HERE to browse the rest of the show!

Special Thanks to Steve and Chelsea of!