Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Last Sleeping Bag You Will Ever Need

In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive... and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun. Now after exhaustive movie viewing research and analysis ThinkGeek Labs has isolated the exact synthetic compounds needed to re-create Tauntaun fur. What have we done with this supreme knowledge? Created a Tauntaun sleeping bag of course.

This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and plush lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is "Attack of the Clones" you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of "Empire Strikes Back".

Use the plush lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass. If your kids don't change their tune on which Star Wars film is the greatest ever, you can do your best Jar Jar impression until they repent.

Product Features

  • Classic Star Wars sleeping bag simulates the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass
  • Built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow
  • Plush Lightsaber zipper pull
  • Great for playing pretend "Save Luke from the Wampa" games
  • Teach your children about the best Star Wars movie ever
  • Fully Licensed Lucasfilm™ Collectable
  • Enough room for adults, plenty of space for kids
  • 100% Polyester construction, Machine washable
  • Bag Dimensions - 33" x 67" (not including head pillow or legs)
Yes, 99 dollars is a lot of money....but a small price to pay for peace of mind that your child is safe within the belly of a Taun Taun. Think about that.

Also we are pretty sure you'll be buying this for yourselves anyway.


  1. Pretty sure this was an April Fool's joke from... April.

  2. Well I just pre-ordered your April fool's joke from Think Geek.

  3. omg! Look at the inner lining! It looks like intestines! That's the most subtly horrific piece of awesome! <3333 I love ThinkGeek.