Sunday, December 21, 2014

ThinkGeek's Top Holiday Gifts for 2014

It's crunch time. You've walked the isles at Walmart and decided it was best NOT to give that case of chicken ramen noodles to your sister even though she said she reaaaaally loves chicken ramen noodles, so you are at your wits end. Here's where Idle Hands comes to the rescue with last minute gift ideas from the life altering to the anger inducing...because sometimes that is all you want to accomplish with your gift. WE GOT YOU COVERED!! For such a task, we go to our buddies at ThinkGeek who just happen to stock items marked "must have" and "must kick the ass of whom ever gave this to me". Let's check out this year's all stars...

Giant Robot Slippers: Warm. Squishy. Mini World Conquering. Giant Robot Slippers are for the loved one in your life who demands cozy feet when wearing next to nothing else and would like to feel capable of trampling a smurf village with the proportionate fury of MechaGodzilla...complete with the roboty sound effects...and bottom grippies so you don't fall to the ground and crack the planet in half.


Captain Jules Extra-Ordinary Useless Box: Got a crazy uncle that gives you the most mind numbing presents possible? Get revenge with the Useless Box. Pop in the batteries and you are ready to go. Thrill to the action as you flip the switch, sending a little arm rocketing out of the shadowy confines of the box to set the switch back to off. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT??!! Welp...if you flip the switch again, the little arm comes back out and sets the switch back. Next, you can flip the switch over and that lil bastard will jump right out and....flip the switch BACK to off. After that, you have the choice of staring at the box scornfully or setting the switch back to on, at which point that playful arm will pop up and set the switch to off. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!! I like to tell people it's a game they have to figure out. Encourage them as they continually hit the switch and have it reset. Throw out cryptic suggestions like "perhaps you are looking at it from the WRONG ANGLE"..and then see what they do. If you are an asshole, you should buy 10 of these. You'll never tire of the gag. Ask Think Geek for a bulk discount.


Shark with a Frickin' Laser Pointer: The dream of many a would be world conqueror finally realized...if only in mini, plastic form.'s a start. Conquer your work presentation when you whip out your shark with a frickin laser pointer on its head and hold your co-workers mesmerized for literally minutes as you point to flow charts, pie charts, flow charts...ALL THE CHARTS. If you find yourself being mugged, distract the would be thief with one hand while you whip out your frickin laser shark with the other and blind that loser for life (or seconds..whichever comes first). This product will save your life one day.


Firefly Inevitable Betrayal Dinosaurs with Sound: Joss Whedon's greatest gift to all mankind...has very little merchandise with which we can celebrate our love. In swoop our heroes at ThinkGeek who created the ultimate Firefly gift which simultaneously shows how hardcore you are to fellow Browncoats AND confounds all those who are not down with the Wash. These two playful plastic dinosaurs have little switches on their bellies activating their sound features. Press the Stegosaurus to start his beautiful speech..."This is a fertile land and we will thrive..." Meanwhile, have your TRex waiting in some tiny bushes to enact his shocking but "inevitable betrayal". As your mini play reaches its climax, you can perfect your dinosaur chewing noises as the TRex does what is in his nature. HOURS OF FUN!!


Medieval Knight Hoodie: Is Medieval Times your idea of fast food? When on a date, do you unzip your pants and ask if your date dares joust with you? Is the Braveheart soundtrack your "jam"? THEN WE HAVE THE PERFECT HOODIE FOR YOU!!! Think Geek combines our urgency for super soft, snugly warm comfort with our deep rooted desire to appear as if we can repel an goblin horde. The Medieval Knight Hoodie is tested against dragons (plush ones), can repel witchcraft (or really, really bitchy people), can grant the wearer invisible (if you wear it around your mom who will deny she knows you exist) and will pump up any paladin +6 in charisma (if your friends are as ridiculously geeky as mine are. For serious. It's a panty dropper.) Zipper included!!


ThinkGeek has tons more awesome products for every taste and occasion, so hit them up today!  Thanks to TG for a look at their excellent products!!

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