Prince of Persia...With LEGOs!!

Ahh LEGOs. Is there nothing you can't make better? Those LEGO maniacs are at it again with a mini movie adaptation of Prince of Persia, which is natural because they've got all those LEGO sets for the movie from Castle walls to the ridiculous ostrich race! This latest LEGO epic is narrated by the prince himself, Jake Gyllenhaal. While he is leading the action, I regret to inform the ladies reading that LEGO Gyllenhaal was not so inspired that he whipped the shirt off his pear shaped, plastic body. You'll have to take those fantasies somewhere else.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Movie Review

Come with me to a place where incredible leaps are routine every 15 minutes or so. Where the Persian people stride across the desert, their orange faces artificially kissed by the sun. This is a tale as old as time with war and treachery and love and shirtless battle and turn around shots to remind you this was once a video game. And now...THIS...is Prince of Persia.

Our tale begins with young Gyllenhaal as a street rat who shows great bravery and is taken into the king's family to be treated as if he were his flesh and blood. The boy turns into a man with distractingly large eyebrows, alongside his two royal brothers. As he came to maturity, he honed his leaping and tumbling skills and in that perfection, became the originator of Parkour, or as we call it in America, Gymkata. Now the three brothers march off to battle and in a hasty decision, attack a peaceful nation in search of weapons of mass destruction (message!) It is there that Prince Dastan comes to aquire the Dagger of Time which allows him to travel backward in time a short hop to correct a mistake or thwart an attempt on his life. With a click of the handle, a CGI sequence is activated in which Dastan becomes a floating, shimmering cartoon character, not unlike the ghosts in the Casper films, watching time reverse itself before jumping back into his body..but that comes later. As he tries not to be hypnotized by the odd features of Princess Tamina, a plot to kill his father unfolds and Dastan is left with the blame, fleeing into the sand with Tamina cracking wise behind him. See, Tamina is the protector of the Dagger and wants to return it to its rightful place before it falls into evil hands...but the baddies have already set their sights on the artifact and now that Dastan is on the run, they are looking to snatch it from his cold, dead hands.

The first 75% of Prince of Persia plays like a dim witted action feature with thrills slightly more intense than Race to Witch Mountain and the Narnia films. The chemistry between Dastan and Tamina is non-existent, so we fall back to charisma and action. In the charisma column, you'll find very little, unless you are a woman (or man so inclined) who is just in it to drool over the Gyllenhaaledness of the moment. Jake mugs for the camera and seems to do his best to slap on his action faces but only achieves a sort of homage to Brendan Fraser in the Mummy movies, as if he were a stand up comedian doing a poor imitation. Its hard to watch. We know the guy can act..he's just not bringing his A game here. His english accent, or whatever they call what he's doing with his voice, doesn't help matters much. Gyllenhaal's intonations swing wildly between cockney chimney sweep and Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As far as action goes; you are going to see a lot of swords but not one excellent sword fight. THAT is a crime. Instead we get a series of chases with Dastan showing off his video game moves, leaping in slow motion in unlikely arcs and outwitting the pursuing soldiers with very little comedic timing...or fun. At one point, I swear he does the Karate Kid Crane technique in mid-air. I wish I were joking.

At the half way mark, we finally learn why the Dagger of Time is so dangerous in the wrong hands in a bit if dialogue that flies by so fast, you'll probably miss it. Not to worry..they'll spell it out for you later. During the course of this "adventure", we get the abuse of Alfred Molina who is reduced to the portly jester role, cracking one liners and expounding about the majesty of the ostrich. Poor, poor man. We also have Ben Kingsley who doesn't seem to be allowed to show any deviation in emotion and, sadly, was also painted an odd orangey color to complete his middle eastern transformation. ACTING!! To waste these two talents is horrific, so I hope they were paid a truck load of money to take this one for the team. This will certainly do nothing for their careers.

In the final quarter of the film, we are introduced to the Hassansins, hired killers who wield amazing (though improbable) weapons with astounding skill and cut everyone in their path to ribbons. This crew of sand ninja badasses is lead by a scarred man with snakes living in his pants who becomes the REAL bad guy of the movie!! HE'S AWESOME!! So now you are staring up at the screen screaming WHERE WERE YOU AN HOUR AGO???!!! He does not answer. He's taunting you. Evil, I tell you. The Hassansins kill everyone in the movie and chase Dastan and Tamina into the finale which unfolds with ridiculous speed and is lacking in any sort of wow moment. The funny part happens next, which contains things I couldn't speak of, lest I ruin the entire film. Suffice to say, Dastans brothers are extremely likable and I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO GET TO KNOW THEM AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE!!

In case you couldn't tell, I'm agitated. Sure, video game adaptations are often horrible, but that doesn't mean Disney has to stick with Hollywood traditions. Better writing, character development and cinematography could have saved this film EASILY. Every actor on that screen was more than capable of creating memorable moments, had they been allowed to show a little depth. As it stands, the film may as well have been animated. Prince of Persia is two hours of tedious family fun that will seem like three hours of almost exciting claptrap. Ladies, if you are so rabbid about seeing Jake with his shirt off, then the picture posted here is alllll you, baby. I just saved you 10 bucks and a tension headache caused by your date trying to explode your brain for making him watch this movie. I save lives.

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time Trailer..With LEGOs!

Honestly, is there anything in life not made better with Play Doh, Nerf and/or LEGOs??!! Young film makers with far too much time on their hands are constantly putting this theory to the test and today, the LEGO gods smile upon us with a new and IMPROVED trailer for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time..and acted and directed by LEGOs. When you go to sleep, your little sentient bricks are probably recreating scenes from The Dark Knight, Spartacus and 9 and a half Weeks. True Story.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

New Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Trailer

...Which is probably also on the front of Alice in Wonderland this weekend along with TRON!! Will be awesome to see if both are in 3D.

More Prince of Persia Toy Pics Surface

We've been taunting you with these for over a month and now, McFarlane Toys lets loose their sales department with some more marked up pics making all the characters look badly tattoo'd! Fun times. Pictured from the 4 inch line is Desert Dastan, Zolm (Lead Hassansin) and Setam (Human Porcupine Hassansin). This wave features 12 points are articulation...which makes up for the 6 inch preposed ones which appear to have next to no articulation at all. In the 6 inch line we have Warrior Dastan, Desert Dastan, Zolm and Ghazab (Double Bladed Halberd Hassansin.)



































If you recall the stories we posted HERE and HERE, we mistakenly thought McFarlane was finally getting with the times and giving us some well articulated ACTION figures. Turns out those were the 4 inch figures. This begs another question. We had some images of sharp, awesome looking figures which we assumed were 6 inch and softer sculpts which we thought the 4 inch, since you lose detail as you scale down, unless you are Hasbro or Zizzle (Pirates of the Caribbean.) Now that we know they are all 4 inch, it is more likely that the sharper sculpts were of the 2-ups (larger prototypes) and the softer were actual production pieces. We aren't saying the final pieces will look that soft, but they may. If anyone is capable of putting out a 4 inch line with great sculpting, it's certainly McFarlane. Toyfair is looming, so I guess we'll find out soon enough!

MORE GYLLENHAAL!! Prince of Persia Toys from McFarlane

When we last presented the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time movie toy line (CLICK HERE TO DRINK IT IN) to the female loins of the planet, our pictures were small and ill equipped to satiate their lust for the man called Jake. Now we've got some NEW pictures that will cause you to scratch at the monitor. For the guys, maybe not so much. At any rate, the likeness seems excellent, and that's always a good place to start! Here's hoping McFarlane shows the rest of the toy making world what an awesome likeness can do for toy sales in this day and age...because I'm just not seeing it most other places lately. To the left we have the 6 inch Warrior Dastan action figure ($12.99). Below is the The Alumut City Gate playset in scale with the 4" action figure line. Recreate key action sequence from the movie with a spring loaded catapult, falling rock slide, working gate, hidden escape stairs, viper pit, a special Dastan figure and more! ($22.99) We also have the 4 inch Warrior Dastan and Double Bladed Halberd Hassansin (Ghazab). Note that these are all still prototype pics. Finished pieces may look different. Click the pics to enlarge!

For The Ladies: Little Gyllenhaals for 2010

Those who watch the toy world know the full lineup of toys from McFarlane was revealed some months back, but we've got some early pics to go with the lineup, so let's take a look!





The 4 inch figure line (not 3 and 3 quarters like GI Joe/Star Wars/Marvel Universe?) feature 12 points of articulation, include character specific weapons and accessories and a weighty price tag of $8.99. The series 1 lineup includes:

Warrior Dastan
Desert Dastan
Seso
Lead Hassansin (Zolm)
Double Bladed Halberd Hassansin (Ghazab)
Human Porcupine Hassansin (Setam)










Includes horse and articulated rider character. Horses scaled to fit any 4” figures from the Prince of Persia Sands of Time movie action figure line. Each set goes for $15.99. The line begins with:

Zolm with Akvan
Dastan with Aksh










The Alumut City Gate playset is based on the upcoming Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time movie, in scale with the 4" action figure line. Recreate key action sequence from the movie with a spring loaded catapult, falling rock slide, working gate, hidden escape stairs, a special Dastan figure and more! $22.99







The 6 inch figure line (for those who want to pit Wolverine against Jake) feature multiple points of articulation, character specific weapons, accessories and play action. $12.99 each. Series 1 includes:

Warrior Dastan
Desert Dastan
Lead Hassansin (Zolm)
Double Bladed Halberd Hassansin (Ghazab)







Prince of Persia The Sands of Time: 12" Vinyl Dagger of Time
Detailed sculpt recreates title weapon from the movie so kids can role play and hold their little sisters hostage until they get that extra cookie. Adorable! Safe for kids with soft vinyl blade and a light up jeweled handle. $12.99














NOTE: These are early pictures of prototypes. Finished pieces will likely look different.
Sadly, no word on a strap on six pack for the children. Look for the entire line May of 2010.