Monday, September 2, 2013

The Greatest Burger King In New Jersey

After an exhausting morning pitching toys at perspective buyers at the monthly Wayne New Jersey Toy Show, myself and the lovely, purple haired woman who likes to try and teach me math when we are drunk known as Emi, headed for her apartment in Bloomfield and were advised to take 23 on a straight shot by our dear friend Geepus. We'd not gotten any sleep the night before and with a 4am alarm imminent, a massive, crashing, rumbling thunderstorm sealed our groggy fate. Suffice to say, toy show coffee and muffins didn't do much to sustain us, but sales were brisk allowing a small splurge. ONLY THE BEST (of the dollar menu items) FOR U, BABE! Since gluten is not Emi's friend, a lot of options were out, but a lonely Burger King seemed like an oasis we could both agree on...and as we pulled up, the movie theme and leopard print seats made us very happy about our choice.

Get this...tile floor with little movie camera shaped pink neon...portholes featuring Point Break era Keanu Reeves, Indiana Jones, a mongaloid-like screaming Rocky, C-3PO and ET all topped with neon crowns....and a fucking Chevy convertible booth in the center of it all. It's like that diner from Pulp know..greasier..and with more burning burger smoke. Also, no dance contest, no Steve Buscemi Buddy Holly (he's still working, smart asses!!) and the shakes are way cheaper...but not by much.

So, if you ever find yourself in the area of Cedar Grove, NJ, head for Pompton Ave and snag that sweet Chevy booth before the squares do....or the extra loud family of 6, all wearing PJ pants.

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