Sunday, December 23, 2012

2012 Holiday Geekbook: Inflatable Awesome

With Christmas Eve dropping on us tomorrow, you may be asking why we'd do a pseudo buying guide NOW. Here's my thinking. As geeks, we get to a certain age, and though our family understands who we are and what we are into, a large percentage of them do not like to...shall we say...Feed the Beast. And so..on our holiday, we get nice, thoughtful presents, but are left to our own devices to continue in the hunt for our particular "Holy Grail" of collectibles or just that day to day stumbling upon hysterically fun products we have to click BUY on immediately. Not all of us have husbands or wives who will indulge us! That said, as you wrap those final presents and bake the 60th batch of sugar cookies, Idle Hands presents a number of products we love...that you'll most likely want to possess with your new found holiday cash and work bonuses!

Assisting us in our demos is the lovely Jess Rajs of Gorgeous and Gory, the most excellent Zombie Mermaid Calendar IN THE WORLD.

With that....let's talk about Inflatable Toys. I'll wait for the snickering to die down. When I say Inflatable you probably think of those awesome pool toys you no doubt came across at some point in your youth, packed with that signature smell that now reminds you of Summer. Yes..plastic reminds me of Summer. Shuup. It's hard to be creative in a world of toys where everything under the sun has been attempted, so nothing pleased me more than to see ThinkGeek stocking a series of inflatable items you can slide an appendage into to rock a Comic Con, complete your party costume or just inflict smushy intimidation upon your friends.

First up, we have the Tentacle Arm! We'll pitch this over to ThinkGeek before your mind has a chance to go to that special, pervy place...

"We love cephalopods. There, we said it. Whew. That's a load off our brains. Whether it's their ink, their suckers, their arms and/or tentacles, or their ability to fly through space, we just love 'em. We want to be more like them, too. That's why we like this Inflatable Tentacle Arm. Just get two, slip over your own puny human hands, and turn them into inflatable flailing octopus arms of wonder. Each Inflatable Tentacle Arm is made of vinyl, has a lovely printed sucker pattern, and inflates in two places. Comes in pink or green."

As a bonus, ThinkGeek thought we should outfit our model with Tentacle Fingers (seen at the start)! The combination raised an eyebrow, as we and all associated with Idle Hands are not beyond the pervy thoughts ..but Jess was game none the less. Yay Jess. The fingers are very well made, so it and the arm slipped on without a hitch and seemed like they would last an evening of partying. The fingers will go on nice and snug so there's little worry of them jumping ship at some point in your Cthulhu-esque adventure. I should also note I didn't burst a lung blowing up the arm. The same goes for the next two implements of destruction coming up...

Next, we present GIANT ROBOT BATTLE FISTS!! It is impossible to type that in normal case and without !!! at the end. ThinkGeek's turbo fisting kit (there I said with that image burned into your cranium) contains TWO Battle Fists...because you can't look like a life sized Rock-em Sock-em Robot unless you've got two blow up hammers with which to jack your friends up. The fists slide on easily and fit snugly, and while you will immediately feel compelled to rock a hipster upside the beard, we suggest you suppress your nerd rage, lest ye be buying another set after yours explode on impact. Play nice kiddies. My first thought was these would make an awesome start to home made Real Steel costumes. Jess thought they were made for "Doin' the Monkey". She does a mean Monkey.

Lastly we submit...The Inflatable Minigun Arm! ...of course Jess demanded it be used as a leg first, for obvious reasons. Good for chasin Predators, mowing down Terminators, repelling swarms of Aliens or simply tea with Rob Liefeld. The gun arm has a  9" barrel circumference and a handle within to balance that 26" long know...for when you're workin.....the...oh never mind. Do we need to sell you further on this? IT'S A FUCKING BLOW UP MINIGUN ARM!!! If I got this as a present my reply would be to sing Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." (Yes I know it is Dolly's but her version wouldn't have the same impact. Stop interrupting.) This bad boy is on sale right now for FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS so I fully expect you to make it sell out this week and tell em Idle Hands sent ya.

Punch the word "Inflatable" into ThinkGeek's search engine and you'll find not three but 11 results including a little droid buddy, a Baloonicorn and mooore. Check them out today and come back to Idle Hands soon for more Holiday Geekbook features as we spiral into 2013! ...annnnd Head over to to buy their 2013 Zombie Mermaid Calendar and see more of Jess's Tail!

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